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It was 11pm, and I was just walking in the door after a long hard day of work.  I worked an 8 hour shift. One of the other girl’s called in sick, and I couldn’t take a lunch. I had spoken on the phone with Virgin’s customer service to solve recurring billing issues for a customer who will only deal with me.

The customer left angry, it was two days before I was leaving for vacation and I’d been working 10 days straight. I was nearing the end of a pay period, and bad boy and I were living off Mr.Noodles and plain spaghetti noodles.

My mind was not in a good place. By the time I forced myself to walk up the stairs to our apartment, I had tears running down my face and I felt bitter and cold. It was not one of my proudest moments.

Then he gathered me in his arms, wiped the tears from my eyes and told me to sit down because he had dinner ready. I smiled despite myself, swallowing one of my self pitying sobs and slumped down on the couch.

He went and made me a pot roast. I don’t know how, but he did. Earlier that day before I left for work he asked casually in conversation what my favorite food is (you guessed it, roast beef). I had assumed it was just that-a conversation.

All I can say folks, is that it was the must amazing feeling to come home to that. I don’t think anyone has ever done something so considerate and thoughtful for me. I needed the reminder of how damn lucky I am to find someone who genuinely cares about me, makes me top priority, and would do anything to make me happy.

That’s real love, folks.

It was love at first sight. Or first google, whichever you prefer. As most of you know I work in the wireless industry, and I normally do some research on up and coming phones when I find out we’ll be stocking them.

Naturally it was really exciting for Virgin Mobile to be launching its first Android phone, but to also be the first company in Canada launching the HTC Legend. I have to say I’ve always wondered what all the hype was behind these android and google phones.

Except it isn’t hype folks, this little phone really does pack a punch. As soon as i started doing my research, my little purple Blackberry Curve 8530 began to lose its appeal. Sure, Blackberries are the “it” phone right now. It was limited edition, i could multitask, facebook, im, text and tweet all at once from my phone.

But it also froze, had the battery life of a 95 year old woman, and isnt’ terribly user friendly for those who aren’t tech savvy (75% of my customer base really). So, within a few hours of learning we’d be launching the Legend, I put an ad up on kijiji to sell my beloved Blackberry so i could upgrade.

And what an upgrade it is folks. This isnt’ just a phone, this is a digital camera and pda all in one. You can’t find many phones with a 5.0 MP camera, flash and photo editing all in one. Combine that with a near bullet proof touch screen and sassy aluminum casing and you’ve got a phone to be reckoned with.

The new Android platform is amazing. 75% of the apps are free (in your face iphone), easily downloadable right from the android market on the phone, the OS is extremely customizable, and htc sense is just plain fucking cool. The pages are seamless and I’ve made several “Scenes” (profiles) for work, play and just for the hell of it. All the scenes have different backgrounds, widgits, icons and apps.

The phone was super easy to get use to. After a few hours I was texting with the touchscreen keypad with ease, the auto spell correcter helps at all. I do have to say though, when it changed shit to shot, or fuck to duck I wanted to hurt someone. You can easily turn this function off, or simply save words to the dictionary as you type.

I won’t talk specifics with the HTC sense, but i will say its tons of fun, the friend stream gave me wet panties, and this is the most fun I’ve ever had with a phone.

Things I dig about this phone:

• the 5.0Mp camera
• customizing the background options (I have hello kitty, Sailor Moon and Care bears, just to name a few)
• hello! free apps?!
• friend stream means I can update twitter, myspace and facebook all at once
• weather animations make me giggle like a little girl
• great sound quality, ringer, earpiece and music
• sturdy casing and screen (mine has been dropped several times so far)
• wifi at home means less data usage and tethering
• The ringer stops when I pick up the phone off a table, etc
• The ringer automatically is louder if in a pocket or purse
• Flash is supported, making web browsing amazing
• Automatically integrates my contacts from google, google calendar and reader
  

Things that could be improved:

• If you don’t kill all your apps in the background you use a ton of data
• Needed to turn off static ip to use the wifi browser
• Ringtones can be custom, notification sounds cannot.
• The stock headset that comes with it doesn’t fit well in my little ears

Awesome Apps:

• firefox
• tunee music (free music downloads)
• pandabear (OS for themes)
• shazaam
• google sky map (point to the sky and see constellations where you are)
• fml
• wordpress
• wifi switch
• hi msn
• peep

If you’re looking for a cool phone that does it all, this phone is for you. The cute as hell android logo doesn’t hurt either.

I’m alive. Things are insane right now.

I’ve signed on with girls of glam dot com, I’m working tons of hours at my regular job and the boyfriend and I are doing super well.

There was even a pretty big future talk the other night, I’d call it the anti proposal. More about that in another post.

I just wanted to let everyone know I’m alive, and there’s lots of news to come.

Sorry I’ve been lacking in the updates department. I was in a bit of a funk (as I’m sure you all noticed) and wasn’t in the mood for writing. Ontop of that I’ve been a busy little lamb with work, and then I told my internet company to go eff themselves so i’ve been without internet.

But alas, I found an application that turns my blackberry into a wireless adapter. Yes, it is an amazing little thing. Anyway, I have a funny story for you. Last weekend was a holiday here in the great white north. I spent my Monday generally not feeling well, but at work (and for 25$ an hour, why not?) fooling around on my blackberry and sitting on the counters.

Yes yes I know, bad bad. Anyway, this old, miserable lady runs a bookstore behind us and she complained to the other manager that we were being inappropriate at work. I’m still trying to figure out how exactly, but whatever. Naturally as soon as I came into work on Thursday I was pulled aside and asked what happened.  I did what I always do, deny deny deny. I’m fairly certain anyone would do the same thing in my situation.

And then things got very very bad. As I was walking away from my lecture I went to text the other girl I was working with on Monday, I said, “I hate (insert name of bookstore here). The old bitchy manager ratted on us for Monday. I’m never shopping there again.

I tucked my phone into my pocket and went on my lunch, not thinking much of it until my phone dinged at me a few seconds later. I looked at my phone and it said, “This is Brittany.”.I could have died. I accidentally texted her instead of the other girl.

Whoops. Again, shit happens and I didn’t think much would come of it. So I sat on the counter? So what. Well apparently it was a huge deal. I got a final warning (meaning next time I make a mistake I’m fired)and she went and reviewed the mall tapes to see what we did that day! She honestly went that far. If I had been Mall Security I would habve laughed in her face.

The whole situation is laughable. Did I mess up? Yes. But should I receive a final warning when I’m a model employee, have the highest sales, am management and have never been written up before? No. So eff that. I started applying for new jobs right away.

In fact, tomorrow I have an interview before work. If I get it it will be very very good. Cross your fingers and toes for me. I also may have a promotional modelling gig on Saturday. Things can only get better, right?

I’m entering day 8 of my 11 day working stretch. I am not liking it. There are a million things stressing me out right now, and work is not helping one bit. So..here I will have one huge rantfest, and I will number everything so you can sympathsize and make me feel better in the comments. Okay?

1)Work.

I love my job about 80% of the time. The rest of the time i’m frustrated because things are going wron. We just got new systems and there’s a ton of bugs. I haven’t gotten my commission pay in close to two months, and when I do get it, it’s always very very wrong. I hate standing for 8 hours a day, and it just sucks in general. I’m usually horrible grumpy by the time I get home and my feet reak.

2)Money

I have none. I’m in the middle of filing for bankruptcy, my pay is never right and I’m just tired and making ends meet is getting really difficult. I actually pawned stuff yesterday so I could buy dog food. The real kicker was when I dropped the dog food, ripping the bag open and spilling the contents all over the side walk as I walked to the bus stop.

I’m not going to lie, I cried a bit.

3)Withdrawal

Because I’m working the work week(s) from hell, I havent’ been able to go to the doctor to get a refill on my medications. Have I mentioned i’m bipolar? I tried to taper everything off hoping the after math wouldn’t be too bad, but it hasnt’ helped.

I have hot and cold flashes, I’m miserable and crampy, my moods swing back and forth and I’m effing exhausted all the time. The lack of meds causes me to have horribly vivid nightmares. I usually wake up a slick, sweaty mess in the middle of the night breathing heavily and on the brink of an emotional melt down.

Doesn’t that sound like fun?

4)Have I mentioned I’m miserable?

I’m lashing out at everything and everyone. The boyfriend has been pretty supportive, but I think last night he had abotu enough and I was left in the bedroom stiffling sobs. I did what I do best by locking myself in the bathroom, sobbing loudly and turning the tap on so he wouldn’t hear.

It didn’t help.

5)I work too much and have nothing to show for it.

You know where this is going.

FML. I’m worn out, feeling underappreciated and I just would appreciate one good nights sleep without silly nightmares that ruin my whole day.

Court wasn’t do bad. I was honestly expecting to get my head ripped off and feel like a steaming pile of shit. But no, the lawyer was very nice and as soon as I stated I was filing for bankruptcy he told the judge to adjourn the whole thing.

Load off my back.

This month is proving to shape up as a busy one. I have three photo shoots..on is this Sunday, down by the river and in a big fountain that is also by the riverfront. I’m thinking of using balloons or something. What can I say? I’m a child at heart.

I have another shoot on the 26th and i need a theme. I’m thinking of doing the 7 deadly sins (not like they did it ANTM, that would be lame). I’ll have to talk bad boy into posing with me for the lust shot. I know he wouldn’t want another dude there. Any theme ideas you folks would like to see? I’m not very good at coming up with this shit.

I also have a car wash I told High Five I’d help out with for his band. They need to raise money for their new album. I’m a sucker, I know. Between work and hobbies this will be busy!

I might even have some  paid modelling work coming up. Cross your fingers!

I am stressed. Actually, I don’t even know if stress is the right way to put it.

I’m lonely, the boyfriend is out of town for the weekend (possibly longer, that will be explained later) and being lonely and painfully stressed is not a good combo.

The issue has to do with financials, like it almost always does. At the beginning of the month my pay was messed up so I could barely make rent.

This is compounded by the boyfriend’s current status among the unemployed. I don’t mind that so much, he does clean and cook.

And then the summons came. I was evicted from an apartment a little over a year ago. I was silly, and make bad decisions. Money handling has never been one of my strong suits, and I’m paying the price now.

I’ve got a ton of credit card debt that I’ve slowly been paying down, and now I owe around 2000$ for this eviction. i’m still trying to figure out how I owe so much since I’ve paid half of it off already, and they shouldn’t be charging me damages, but whatever.

The point is I’m going to court of Wednesday. They want to garnish my wages. I say, you can’t get blood from a stone.

Apparently they can take about 50% of my wages. This is when I start freaking out. I can barely pay rent and such now. If they take away half my take home pay I am screwed. I make anywhere from 400-600 a week before taxes and fees are taken off. That’s without commission.

You do the math.

The boyfriend was expecting a hefty tax return this year, which was going to be handed over to me since I’ve been supporting both of us. The government took the money to put towards his student loans.

So now we’re both freaking out a little. he stranded in our home town possibly until I head there for court on Wednesday. Sigh.

Sometimes I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and take back all the stupid shit I did when I was 18-22. I’d cut up the credit cards, live within my means and pay my freaking rent.

What a twit I’ve been. So now I’m stuck making a very adult decision. These are decisions I don’t like making.

I’m looking into bankruptcy. I figure I should do it while I’m young and can recover. I don’t have any assets for them to take, so that’s good.

My credit is already crippled, so that isn’t a huge deal, it’s the rebuilding of my credit that I worry about.

It just seems like my only viable option right now. It doesn’t matter how much I sell, or how much modeling work I book I can’t seem to keep up with the bills piling up on my cork board.

The worst part is now I know how the ex felt at the end of our relationship. He was supporting me while i didn’t work and couldn’t contribute because I had no income coming in.

It’s one of the few things helping me keep my head on straight. I felt so helpless back then, especially since I knew the toll it was taking that relationship.

It was not a happy time. I sort of took advantage and lived in self pity. He took his stress and frustrations out on me.

The boyfriend and I have been fully supportive and honest with each other. It’s humbling and I respect our relationship so much for it. He knows about my financial woes, court, and I know about his.

We’re working through it together which I think is the important part, where as in my last relationship I didn’t share what was really going on financially, and I fed off him like a parasite while he lashed out at me.

I like to think I’ve grown up a bit. I do want to email him and tell him i understand where he was coming from way back when, but he’s made himself very clear in that talking to me hurts too much since he regrets ending it.

So wish me luck folks. Here’s hoping the bankruptcy gods are nice to me.

I’m at work..as I always am. Eat sleep work. Eat sleep work. I don’t know how I even find time for sex anymore! (though I do, obvs)

There are screaming children everywhere and it’s really grating on my nerves. Any one who has spoken to me for more than ten minutes knows I hate children. I don’t care how cute they are with their dimples, fat fingers and baby smell., the minute they open their little pie holes and start screaming I want to kill someone.

So unfortunately my minions (this is what i call my employees..yes to their faces) are the ones that have to deal with my wrath. I’ve left a pretty passive aggressive note they all need to sign telling them sales need improving, etc.

Hell, yesterday was my day “off” and I had to partake in a conference call, submit a report to my boss explaining why sales are low and how I’m going to improve them, and do performance reviews on my staff.

It’s a good thing I generally love my job.

So I promise I have a very good reason for my lack of posting lately. Between the new relationship and the new job I have been one exhausted woman!

I do however have to say I love my job. It's retail, and it's awesome. I'm currently working as the Manager of a Virgin Mobile store.

Glamorous, huh? I’m actually posting from work because for some reason at home I can’t view my site. I can view my cpanel and webmail, but that’s it.

In other news I’ve gone from blonde to red. What a lot of upkeep..I’m going to keep it for a few more weeks before I go back to dark. It’s just too much work (to be honest I’m thinking about going back to dark already.)

My birthday is coming up on Friday. I’m going to be 26 on the 26th! I’m thinking I might do a VLOG if I feel up to it.

It’s still anonymous if I don’t tell you my real name, right?